


How to take care of a Bucky Bear

by yvngp



Series: Who the fuck let me write this [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe?, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky no like humans, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve's a lil shit, We need more Bear Bucky fics, and Bucky - Freeform, and little Steve to be with big ol hybrid Bucky fics, aside from Steve cause yeah, but we luh him, hybrid bucky, no drugs where used in making this fic, we luh him 2, wikihow is key
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8320606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yvngp/pseuds/yvngp
Summary: Steve learns how to take care of his (Bear) Bucky.





	

1\. **Purchase a teddy bear.** When selecting one, make sure its features are pleasing. Be sure that you'll play with your teddy bear for a long time once you buy it. There is no point in buying an expensive one that you'll rarely touch. If you already have a teddy bear in your possession, skip this step. 

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"Hey Bucky?"

Steve had been on google for no reason and he couldn't remember what he wanted to look up on google, so he just decided that he would just look up some weird shit in regards to his _half naked, long nailed, adorable retarded ass boyfriend,_ who was laying on the floor right now.

"Yes."

"Come here." Bucky didn't respond back. Instead, he just pushed himself up off the floor and let himself fall on Steve, who "oofed" when his rude, heavy ass boyfriend decided to practically body slam him further into the couch. Steve had glared at his boyfriend before grabbing Bucky's face with his hands and squishing his face, which left Bucky confused. Now it was Bucky's turn to glare at his beloved boyfriend when it started getting annoying but Steve started smiling so Bucky dealt with it, but then those same hands that were rubbing on his face, were know on his little fluffy tail and Bucky glared at his boyfriend again when Steve started saying -

_"squishy squishy."_

"I hate you." Steve had smiled at him and had the nerve to pinch his butt, which caused Bucky to fall on the ground after flailing off Steve. All Steve could do was not fall on the ground after his boyfriend as he laughed his ass off.

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2\. **Buy clothes for your teddy bear.** Purchase ones in pleasant shades that complement your teddy bear's fur tone. Find staple items (ex: a shirt and pants) for its wardrobe before combining them to create cute outfits. You could also give it jewelry or clip hair accessories onto its fur or ears. 

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"Steve, why do you have all those clothes and those ear warmers?" Bucky didn't get what was up with his boyfriend. One day, Steve is just being Steve. Now, Steve is like a addict who doesn't even know what their addiction is. Is that possible?

"Really Bucky? Winter is coming soon and you need all these layers and this is for your ears so they don't freeze up and fall off." Bucky rolled his eyes.

"If anybody needs layers, it's you Steve. You don't produce much body heat and -"

"Shut up and take the damn clothes with your ungrateful ass."

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3\. **Feed your teddy bear.** Purchase fake food in order to help it maintain a well-balanced diet. Be sure that it receives enough nutrients in order to avoid starvation. Feed it an appropriate amount of food to avoid serious weight gain or loss. You could also share your dinner with it and pretend to feed it. 

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Why the fuck would Steve buy fake food when Bucky and himself are human beings who are alive and need real food in order to survive? How would they even get nutrients from fake food? It's not possible. Whoever wrote this damn article, shouldn't have been allowed near a computer because obviously they're too damn stupid to realize THAT YOU CAN'T FUCKING GET THE NUTRIENTS YOUR BODY NEEDS FROM FAKE FOOD AND THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GAIN WEIGHT ANYWAY CAUSE IT'S FUCKING FAKE. DAMMIT. WHO THE FUCK-

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4\.   **Bring your bear along on trips.** Take pictures of your best moments together, and keep it in a photo album so you can later look through them. Make good memories with it, and have lots of fun together. However, make sure it always stays by your side so it you don't accidentally lose it. 

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Bucky decided that he would always accompany Steve anywhere he goes because Steve is someone who can't just go to the fucking store and buy some damn cookies without getting into an argument with a stranger and being ready to throw down some hands. Bucky takes pictures of Steve all the time, but Steve is camera shy and doesn't like pictures so he always tries to block the cameras view of himself but Bucky's been able to get some pictures of Steve whenever he isn't ready or when he tries to block the camera. Steve calls him annoying but Bucky doesn't care. Steve's annoying too.

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5\. **Care for your teddy bear's health.** When it falls ill, give it enough medicine for a healthy recovery. Feed it hot soup with plenty of nutrients to fight off the germs. Comfort it by wrapping a blanket around it and giving it cuddles. Watch television shows or read it books to pass the time. Be sure that it receives plenty of rest in bed.

  * If your teddy bear's condition grows worse, consider taking it to your parents so they can help you nurse it back to health.



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"Steve, honestly, all I'm doing is coughing-"

"Yeah and coughing turns into hacking mucus out your throat and you getting irritated that you can't get it out then you get all grumpy when you keep drinking tea or coffee and it's not helping with the mucus in your throat so you-"

"I fucking get it. Geez."

"well then If you get it then take the damn Halls cough drops!"

"I DON'T WANT TOO!"

"DAMMIT BUCKY!"

"DAMMIT STE- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!"

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6\. **Remember that you are your teddy bear's role model.** It will copy your actions since it looks up to you. Set a good example for it by having good character and being honest. Teach it good manners so that it can have a healthy social life. Allow it to interact with your other stuffed animals so that it can make friends. 

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The only time when Bucky copies Steve's actions is when he's cooking something because Bucky always forgets that he needs to put a little salt in with the hot water and noodles and that he needs to stir it or else the noodles won't be all loose and they'll be stuck together and who the fuck eats spaghetti like that- you get the point. He also sometimes tries to be as nice to people as Steve is but it just doesn't work out because people are annoying and retarded and blind as hell because they can't seem to see that they're ugly as fuck and Steve doesn't deserve ugly. Steve doesn't need any new friends because Steve has him. But sadly, Steve has other friends. He just doesn't see them a lot as cause everybody wants to be private and not tell Steve anything that's going on with their lives. Bastards.

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7\. **Maintain your teddy bear's hygiene.** Groom it with a brush or a comb to detangle its fur. Keep it clean by giving it to your parents to wash once in a while. By making sure that its stays pristine, you can avoid trips to the washer.

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" _ughhh_ , Bucky you got fur everywhere..." Bucky didn't seem to care as he kept rolling around on the floor and Steve's feet. He rubbed his head against Steve's knees as a sign that he wanted to play.

"No, I'm not going to play fetch with you right now. I have to clean up all your fur." Bucky didn't like that Steve wouldn't play with him so he got on his hind legs and growled at Steve. Steve lifted his head to look Bucky in the eye.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are growling at me like that." They had a little staring contest for a minute until Bucky found some sense and waddled away on his hind legs to the backyard where his ball was at.

"He done lost his damn mind."

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8\. **Keep your teddy bear at an appropriate temperature.** Avoid leaving it in the heat or cold for too long. Otherwise, its health might suffer, and it may fall ill. Also, your teddy bear's color may fade as a result of overexposure to heat. 

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"Not too cold?"

"Steve, I don't get sick like that."

"But still."

"It's fine babe."

"What about now? Too hot?"

" _Babe._ "

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9\. **Give your teddy bear exercise.** Make sure it moves around each day to avoid it becoming a couch potato. For a longer life and good health, it should receive a daily amount of exercise. Take it outside for walks, or let it play with you in the park. 

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"I run every damn day for you so you don't end up in a accident or get attacked by a rabid dog or another hybrid or one of those ugly humans."

"I'm human. Am I ugly?"

_"DON'T YOU START!"_

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10\. **Allow your teddy bear to rest.** Giving it enough sleep per night will ensure good health. Make it stick to a regular bedtime routine before waking it up at an appropriate hour. This will avoid it feeling too weary to have fun with you the next day. Maintaining a regular sleep schedule will ensure a long, healthy life. It will also make sure that it grows up well.

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"Hey Steve?"

"yessssss _sssssssssss_ Buck."

"Can I sleep in the bed with you?"

" _oh m'god Bucky, of course. You live here or did you forget that._ " That was Bucky's approval. Bucky didn't get why he still asked Steve sometimes if he could get in bed with him when he lives here. it's probably out of habit from when he stumbled upon Steve around the forest before they got together.

"Steve."

"Yes?"

"You know I love you right."

"Of course."

"Okay."

"Buck."

"Yes."

"You know I love you right?"

"Yes."

"Okay. G'night."

"Goodnight babe."

**Author's Note:**

> Not a sequel to Steve care for Dummies.  
> Also, LSESteve + AAPBucky has not been forgotten. The draft isn't finished yet so I haven't updates it yet for anyone who cares.  
> This is to let people know who haven't talked to me and/or actually read my stories and subscribed to me that I ain't dead yet.


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